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CR1 Format:  Sample paragraphs
Introduction | Body Paragraph | Conclusion
Introductory Paragraph:

Do you think it was wrong of the doctor to take Nick along and accept his help. Was this an experience that Nick would have been better without?

      Childhood is an important expect in life where many lessons are learnt. The lessons and experiences during childhood can influence a person's perspective in life. In the story "Indian Camp" by Ernest Hemingway, it was right for his father to take Nick along and accept his help. The experience was positive to Nick as his father taught Nick the medical aspects of child birth, showed Nick how to handle crisis built a strong bond with Nick.

Alternative approach:

Use the question as a guide to start the general statement. The whole general statement and support stays very close to the issues presented in the story.

     Parents everyday face the challenge of deciding whether to protect their children from danger or teach them about the world around them. This decision often comes with success as the experience of learning enriches the child to face the outside world or it may be a failure where the child is left confused and disinterested in the world around him. In the story " Indian Camp" by Ernest Hemingway, a father is left with this similar challenge where he, a doctor takes his son along with him in one of his calls to an Indian camp to help a woman give birth. His intention was to teach his son about doctoring but in the process teaches him not only about life but death as well. Therefore his original intention of teaching maybe acceptable but the final experience the son gains may have been an experience the son could do without.

Body Paragraph

Innocence is a significant childhood characteristic. However, due to a child's exposure to unforeseen experiences, this innocence can be lost. Comment using "Indian Camp" or "Man of the House."

     The exposure of a child to the miseries of childbirth may lead to the lost of innocence in a child. A child's world is often colorful, where miseries are nowhere to be detected. Once the child is exposed to the miseries of a suffering mother and the other people surrounding her,  the child may start to develop thoughts and questions that continually bother him. In the story, Nick sounds upset by the screams of the poor mother who is giving birth to a baby, where he say, " Oh Daddy, can't you give her something to make her stop screaming?" By the statement it is clear that Nick is disturbed by the intense pain that the Indian woman undergoes. The husband and other men are also disturbed by her screams as they stay out of the range of sound the woman makes. After the process of childbirth was over and Nick was on the way home, he reflects on his experience where he questions his new learnt knowledge as he asks his father, "Do ladies always have such a hard time having babies? " Obviously, Nick does not fathom the pain of childbirth of a a woman and is pretty curious about it. The innocence in Nick has gone, with this real -life experience of childbirth. This accounts for the annihilation of purity in  child, due to the exposure to new encounters such as the miseries of birth.

This student does answer the question but seems to put too many points in one paragraph and could break it up to two different paragraphs.

Concluding Paragraph

Do you think it was wrong of the doctor to take Nick along and accept his help. Was this an experience that Nick would have been better without?

     In conclusion, the experience Nick encounters in the Indian Camp was shocking but a positive one because the role his father played. The experience was memorable and a good lesson in life for Nick. His father's decision to take Nick was right as he wanted to teach Nick about medicine in childbirth, show Nick the positive way to handle crisis and build a strong bond with his son.  Therefore, a fathers decision to take his child along with him and teach him the realities of the world outside may be considered expectable and a right move as long as he is there to guide and support his son throughout the learning process and with the support of a father a child is better for the experience.

 

 

General statement and support

Don't conclude in the intro.

Intro. to text

TS- could use general TS

 

 

Support

general plot of the story presented in context.

Thesis statement

 

 

 

Topic sentence

Support

Evidence

Elaboration

This second section could have been moved to another paragraph as it holds its own evidence and elaboration.

 

 

 

 

 

Restate thesis

A resolution needed to end the conclusion.