CR1 Sample

SAMPLE CR1 ESSAY

Q. Role models play an important part in the growth of a child

Introductory Paragraph

A role model plays an important part in the growth of a child. A model that gives positive feedback for the needs and wants of a child will be able to take pride in the end result of his guidance. However, when a role model is lacking, the end result can prove to be a disappointment. Some of the evidence of a weak role-model can be evident in the song, “Cats in the Cradle” where a father is materialistic, shows in ability to prioritize and shows lack of understanding towards the needs of his son.

General statement

Identify the text used

Thesis Statement –point of analysis

Support Paragraph 1
A materialistic father will only teach his son that money is important. A father who does not have time for his son will not be able to be a good role model. For example, in the song the father only seems to see the birth of his son as a natural element and goes about his business of working and paying his bills. He seems to have missed his son’s first steps and his first words, but believes that his son will be like him, even though he is not a present role model. His son picks up this lesson on materialism when he grows up when he sees his job is more important than being with his father.	Topic sentence (point) Support Evidence (Detail paraphrased) Concluding statement (connecting the point)
Support Paragraph 2
A father that does not prioritize may end up with a son that cannot prioritize. A son will learn priority by watching his role model. In the song, the father puts his own interest before the needs of his son. For instance, when the father buys the son a ball, the boy says, “Thanks for the ball, Dad, com’on let’s play The father says, “not today, I got to go.” From the lesson he learned from his father, the son seems to have learned the same method of prioritizing. For example, when the father says, “I like to see you if you don’t mind,” the son replies, “I’d love to, Dad if I can find the time.” The son also uses the excuse that his job is a hassle and the kids are sick so he needs to do the more important things instead of sending time with his father.	Topic sentence Support Evidence (direct quote) Evidence (paraphrased)
Concluding Paragraph
In conclusion, a father who is materialistic, lacks priority and does not see the need of their child will find himself ………….